Tuesdays and Wednesdays are no fun for me because I have to go to academic class instead of parkour class. Since I can't go to pk tonight, I am writing about how much fun I had at class on Monday night! I will get back to my homework soon...
In the early class, we did some QM routes (forwards, backwards, sideways) and some plyo jumping courses with obstacles at varying heights (also forwards, backwards, sideways). It was a lot of legs and a great warm up for our focus in the late class: failure. No seriously, that was the goal. Push yourself to the point of failure. What were we failing at? Running cat leaps. For my non-parkour readers, a running cat leap looks like this (except your arms are fully extended in the final cat position):
So the idea is to land hanging on the obstacle. But the other night, our goal was to go for a leap that was just out of reach to force us into bailing. This meant pushing ourselves not only way beyond what we were comfortable with, but also beyond what we can actually do. It is surprising how difficult it is to go for something 100% when you know you're going to fail.
I struggle with pushing myself sometimes because of the balance between two different kinds of fear. There is a fear of the unknown. This fear is there because you are leaving your comfort zone and it is scary to try something new. You might fall, you might make it, but you probably won't kill yourself. And then there is the fear that we should listen to. The fear that is there because your body is trying to tell you something. It might seem obvious which fear is which, but sometimes it is hard to tell in the moment or for those of us who have less mental strength. The worst is when we allow the first fear to take over in our minds, preventing us from committing 100% which automatically leads to failure or even injury. Then we tell ourselves we were right in being scared when really, we only failed because we did not commit. Anyways, I think I stay a little too close to my comfort zone sometimes, not pushing myself quite to the point of failure. I mean, let's be honest. Failing isn't fun. But how else do we get better? How else do we realize our full potential or limitations? We have to take those safe and calculated risks.
I was in the perfect mental state Monday night. My mind was clear. I was totally focused. And I was not letting fear control my mind. I was determined to push myself.
We started at a normal distance, within everyone's ability. Then the instructor, R, pushed the box back in small increments every round. Every time, I looked to him to see if he thought I could make it. The first few times, he gave me an "absolutely yes" sort of head nod. Then it became more of a "you'll probably maybe make this" head nod. Then he started standing next to the mat on the floor in between the boxes in case I failed or didn't bail properly. I generally avoid measuring things but for the sake of my readers who need visuals, the distance of my last two jumps was about 8-9ft. out.
So yeah... incredible but terrifying. I got up on top of the first box and stared at the distance. I felt the fear creeping in so I spun in a circle to distract myself and then I went for it. "YEAH" I heard the class go. Woohoo! My hands hurt a little bit after that one, but R gave me a high-five and I felt amazing. My heart was pounding a little bit. I honestly wasn't sure if I was going to make it but I wasn't even thinking about it. I was literally just focused on trying. That was it. Commit 100%. Go for it and see what happens.
I wanted more. I was really nervous the next time around. I was trying to calm my breathing in line but I was kind of freaking out inside. I got up on the box and stopped myself from looking at the gap. I spun to loosen my thoughts, looked at my feet, and didn't look up until I took my first step forwards (there was only room for two steps before the jump).
I felt my feet hit the wall and my hands slam down on top of it. HOLYFLYINGCATS. I was too overwhelmed for words, but you get the idea. I probably looked dazed. Another powerful high-five, which was starting to hurt because I had just slammed my hands onto a box several times.
I looked at R, "You know that feeling you get when you almost hit a car but then everything is okay? That's kind of how I feel right now..." Everyone laughed. I was shaking and my heart was pounding but OHMYGOD THAT WAS AMAZING. After my last successful cat, I went for the next distance, knowing my run might be up but going for it anyways. I hit with my feet and bailed. I had reached my limit. I went for it at the same distance one more time and bailed again. Time to rest.
It felt so incredible to make that jump. That feeling when my hands hit was just... wow. I was in the zone. I was committed. And I was beyond excited when I made that last jump. Great night of training.
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