I can't... feel... my legs!

Stairs.  So many stairs in my house.  Every step I take, I cringe while my muscles scream at me.  I try to walk without bending my knees in an attempt to minimize the pain.  I think about my love/hate relationship with soreness.  Last night, T told us he was going to make us cry after class with conditioning.  We all laughed nervously.

Before the crying conditioning, we had a great workout.  I worked through some mental challenges and really focused on my technique with quiet and precise landings, long and powerful strides rather than short and quick steps, and foot placement.  We were working on jumping, specifically jumping up and onto something from a tilted vault box, a rail, or other obstacle.  I remembered a previous training session when we were using the tilted vault box in a similar way, and I had so much trouble getting myself to just use one step on the box instead of fitting in two which was slowing me down.  So, last night I told myself I'd try it again and see what happened.  Trust, I thought.  Trust that my body can do it and commit.  I started running and my body took over for me, using one powerful step on the box and continuing up to a soft landing on my final target.  Bam.

After more running and jumping, handstands, and more running and jumping, the fun came to end and the conditioning began.  The challenge? Push a weighted sled down the room and back, broad jump down the room, broad jump backwards back to where you started.  Oh and if it wasn't your turn, you were holding a wall sit.  I think there were seven of us, and we were allowed 10-second rests in between each person's turn.

I went second-to-last so I had already been holding a wall sit for a bit by the time it was my turn.  My legs were actually shaking towards the end of the sitting.  I stepped up to the sled and got ready.  Everyone "sat" in their wall sit and I began pushing.  I made it to the other end and turned around to push back, but this time it was at a different angle and I had trouble at the beginning.  I finally started getting some speed and I was almost at the end when the sled caught and wouldn't go over one of the mats.  M@&#^F*@%#^! I pushed and pushed but it wouldn't budge.  Weakness was tapping me on the shoulder and laughing at me as I was cursing the sled and trying not to collapse.  Finally, I managed to lift it off the crack in the mats and went back to pushing it the last few squares to the end.

I stood up, panting, and wanted to cry as I started to jump.  I kept screaming/whimpering I can't feel my legs! while everyone in their wall-sit was cheering me on/begging me to continue so they could rest.  Trying to ignore the pain and force my muscles to function, I made it there and back, jumping forwards then backwards to the finish line.  One more wall-sit as the last person went and we were done.  Somehow I managed not to fall over before fitting in a nice, long stretch and heading home.

As painful as that was, I'm always thankful for T's intense sessions because it pushes me more than I usually push myself.  And even though I want to die at the time, later on when I'm resting I always think to myself I could've pushed a little harder.  I'm going to do better next time.